Today is Valentine’s Day. And what did I do? Did I make personalized valentines, either digital or hard copy? Did I bring candies or sweets or something homemade for anyone? Did I do much of anything at all to celebrate the day? No. I 100% didn’t care about its being Valentine’s Day, and then worried about the fact that I somehow didn’t care. It’s just not me*.
And what did I actually do? I asked if someone would be able to replace me in two months, should I decide I needed to go ahead and leave my job at the end of the school year (four months earlier than the end of my contract).
And, you know what? I was terrified asking, I mentioned that in the asking, as well as my reasoning, and then, afterward, I suddenly feel a sense of liberation. A tightness has disappeared from my disposition. I don’t know what the response will be, but I asked. So now, I will have the choice to make for myself, being fully informed of options, as opposed to just rolling with the current terms of things, which I so utterly dislike. (I mostly just dislike the person I am being and am currently on a path to become.)
Anyway, here’s to new beginnings and speaking up and everything that we struggle with doing, but that is necessary for us to live with intention, power, and integrity. 🙂
*I, I know.
Update: She said no. No one can come replace me in April. So, now I know. Now I just have to look and see what I want to do with what’s in front of me! I think a lot of unreasonable requests are about to happen, so that I can find a way to make this all work. 🙂