The Fear of Openness and Intimacy

It is often terrifying to be open with people regarding very intimate things.  Usually, though, the result of the openness is absolutely wonderful, often beyond expectations.

Tonight, after months of nervous waiting and somewhat avoidance, I finally asked a friend about something that had been driving me absolutely crazy, – it even played a decent role in my depression – and the resulting conversation was beautiful.  Rather than the worst happening, and losing the foundations on which our friendship stood, as I had somehow feared, it feels now as though we are closer than ever, and ready for most any terrain (as opposed to just being on steady ground, where any change in the land would send everything rocking to a tumble and crumble).  And, at long last, I am free of that dragging, straining haul of thoughts that had hassled me for so long.  I have a headache, and I feel like I might have a fever, and yet I am in an easy happiness as I am going to bed right now.  Life is sometimes terrifying, and that’s okay.  Sometimes it just makes the next bit even better for the struggle it took to arrive there.  So is tonight. 🙂
Post-a-day 2017

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