One of the hardest things for me in life is giving up something good. And I don’t mean just giving it up, in any sense. I think I really mean giving up something good, when the only purpose is to make space for something better. ‘What I already have is wonderful. Why do I want to give it up, and risk having nothing in the end?’ For whatever reason, I believe that a sort of fairy tale is in progress in my life. Anything is possible, and I am determined to have an amazing life. Perhaps I have a separate sense for this kind of feeling, and perhaps I’m just filled with a sort of wishful thinking, likely inspired by film and novels. (Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite books, after all.) I don’t know. I do know, however, that every time I have let go of something that has been “good” or less, something better has just shown up for me. The newer, better something is almost effortless in having it become part of my life. The hard part is letting go of the former, not-as-good something.
For clarity, imagine, well I don’t know right now. I can’t seem to think of anything specific from my life right now. (I am rather exhausted from having stayed up late for a friend who needed a place to stay last night, and then ending up chatting together, catching up, until way into the morning hours of nighttime. It was great finally seeing this particular friend again, but it has left me wiped tonight!) Well, let’s talk generally, then, on a common matter. Just watched Sleepless in Seattle again. If she had stayed with her wonderful Walter, life would have been nice; she could have gotten on just finely with her Walter for the rest of her days. But, she had a sense of there being something more, something even better than her Walter out there for her. By letting go of her Walter, she created the space in her life for Sam. And, frankly, it seems Annie and Sam were MFEO (made for each other), just as the young children had somewhat declared. So, Annie let go of something good, and something spectacular arrived in the space created by Walter’s departure from Annie.
Does that make better sense? I think it’s still iffy on my description tonight, but we’ll let it stand for now, so I can go to sleep. 😛
Anyway, I’m terrified to let go of what I know is not the best for me, but that is currently “good” and “decent” for me in my life. Absolutely terrified. And I know that I must first let go of it, in order to create the space for something amazing to come along. Deep breath, Hannah. Deep breath. 🙂