My cousin wants me to start work on this work-out plan, with a very unique tie into a specialty of mine. The idea itself sounds like something totally awesome not only to create, but also to use once it is created. The task, though, feels almost daunting right now, in the midst of my minimal free/me time. I hardly get enough sleep to function decently right now, I have so little time to accomplish anything that has me feel accomplished, satisfied with my day, I have to do it all late at night before I pass out. I hardly have the time to exercise the way I want (Actually, I don’t have the time and energy to do it the way I actually want to do it, but I am finally getting in some exercise (at last!), though it has me getting to bed even later, which doesn’t help on the muscle restore front after the exercise).
I love the work I am doing right now, and I am dearly grateful for it – it is a blessing in and of itself. I am very much looking forward to what comes next, when this current job is finished. I will miss this, and I will be grateful to have moved to the next thing. It will be time. (I think that is really the main thought behind all of this right now.)
I miss my bed in Japan. My bedroom, especially, is one thing I miss most these days. It was a haven for me. No matter what kind of chaos or boredom lurked in my life, every night, my bedroom awaited me in calm, open, and empty space… in beauty. I shut my doors, and was safe in my retreat from everything else. Only love and blessings were ever allowed into my bedroom. I wasn’t even allowed to walk in it if I hadn’t recently showered. Clean clothes, my ukulele and ukulele music, my nighttime books, and water and tissues were just about all that ever went in there, aside from a clean me and my bed.
My bedroom now is slightly larger, but filled with boxes and stuff… a sentimentality to which I am not so sure I still want to cling. I think I am afraid that I will forget the memories, if I get rid of the objects. I do not, for the most part, want the objects, but the memories and the ways I felt. Without the objects, what will remind me?
Sometimes, I fear tomorrow. Not because I fear the dawn or what is to come, but because I worry that I have not done enough with today, and that the feeling will drag into tomorrow, as well. I am exhausted and I want to sleep, yet I have lain awake (just barely) in my bed for over half an hour already. I accomplished much today, both physically and mentally, and I had a wonderful time with my mom, sharing most of the day with her, loving one another well and clearly. But today is Saturday, and tomorrow is Sunday. I have so little time during the weekdays right now, that I feel a compulsion to make each weekend fully “worth it”. Today was great, and yet I worry that Monday will arrive, and I will wish I had done something more over the weekend. To be fair, though, I typically wish that I had had more sleep over the weekend, more so than wishing I’d done anything else. How odd… perhaps it is best, then, that I sleep now.
My head hurts. I think I need food, water, And sleep.
As I thought about just now how my head hurts, I realized that I can express that fact/sentiment in five languages, and without even having to think about it.
My head hurts. (Duh)
Me duele en la cabeza.
J’ai mal à la tête.
Ich habe Kopfschmerzen.
Rad, huh? My life is super blessed. Thank you, God. Now, I’ll have a bit more water, and then sleep!
Tonight, I take a page from the book of Bruno Mars.
Tonight I don’t feel like doing anything – I just want to lie in my bed. I don’t feel like picking up my phone, and writing anything on my web blog. Tonight, I don’t feel like doing anything… Nothing but sleep.
Goodnight all. Hopefully, I will see you next when we all are refreshed and feeling wonderful and fulfilled.
Sometimes, I just have to accept that my day’s productivity will consist of mental and physical rejuvenation (e.g. resting around all day), as opposed to standard ideas of ‘being productive’. There can be a hundred things I want to accomplish on a day off of work. However, if that day comes at the end of a long stream of busy, filled, tiring work days, then I might just need to postpone all 100 tasks. Otherwise, I won’t even make it through the day.
I want a lifestyle where I balance out these tasks and this rest in a beautiful, perfect combination of activity and rejuvenation. I think there is true value in having a day of rest in every week. The religions really got that one right. No joke, yo.