I wanted to snuggle with the cat tonight. Instead, he is running back and forth through the rooms, playing with the curtains, and I might have to put him in the other room, so he doesn’t destroy the curtains once I fall asleep… oh, well… I guess it’s meant to be.
Or something like that, anyway…
Some nights, you just have an amazing time, in an unexpected way, and find yourself getting to bed after 6 a.m., with a human knot and long conversation having been the perfect end to the dance event.
Some days, staying awake 12 hours can feel like the longest, most exhausting day of one’s life.
My cousin wants me to start work on this work-out plan, with a very unique tie into a specialty of mine. The idea itself sounds like something totally awesome not only to create, but also to use once it is created. The task, though, feels almost daunting right now, in the midst of my minimal free/me time. I hardly get enough sleep to function decently right now, I have so little time to accomplish anything that has me feel accomplished, satisfied with my day, I have to do it all late at night before I pass out. I hardly have the time to exercise the way I want (Actually, I don’t have the time and energy to do it the way I actually want to do it, but I am finally getting in some exercise (at last!), though it has me getting to bed even later, which doesn’t help on the muscle restore front after the exercise).
I love the work I am doing right now, and I am dearly grateful for it – it is a blessing in and of itself. I am very much looking forward to what comes next, when this current job is finished. I will miss this, and I will be grateful to have moved to the next thing. It will be time. (I think that is really the main thought behind all of this right now.)
Sometimes, I fear tomorrow. Not because I fear the dawn or what is to come, but because I worry that I have not done enough with today, and that the feeling will drag into tomorrow, as well. I am exhausted and I want to sleep, yet I have lain awake (just barely) in my bed for over half an hour already. I accomplished much today, both physically and mentally, and I had a wonderful time with my mom, sharing most of the day with her, loving one another well and clearly. But today is Saturday, and tomorrow is Sunday. I have so little time during the weekdays right now, that I feel a compulsion to make each weekend fully “worth it”. Today was great, and yet I worry that Monday will arrive, and I will wish I had done something more over the weekend. To be fair, though, I typically wish that I had had more sleep over the weekend, more so than wishing I’d done anything else. How odd… perhaps it is best, then, that I sleep now.
Tonight, I take a page from the book of Bruno Mars.
Tonight I don’t feel like doing anything – I just want to lie in my bed. I don’t feel like picking up my phone, and writing anything on my web blog. Tonight, I don’t feel like doing anything… Nothing but sleep.
Goodnight all. Hopefully, I will see you next when we all are refreshed and feeling wonderful and fulfilled.
No, no, no, no, no. I haven’t the mind to bother this time.
I am tired and dirty, and I just want to clean and be to sleep.
Yes, yes, yes, indeed… be to sleep, is what I want and need.
And water, of course, to drink and to drink.
And then – the ends for the means – to sleeeeeeeeeeep……